The Garnet Spy is a a career intelligence officer and certified Cold Warrior. A Reagan conservative that refuses to join any political party. The Spy may even be a Libertarian, especially given Ronald Reagan’s endorsement of it, but the tests have not yet come back.

The Spy loathes liberals and scoffs at their hiding behind the kidnapped moniker “progressives.” Liberals calling themselves “progressive” is akin to calling Stalin a philanthropist.

Democrats are to The Spy a band of socialists whose intent is to form a nation in which the populace is obliged to and dependent upon them. The systematic destruction of all things that give a citizen control over his own life and mind and circumstance is the paramount agenda of the “progressive” Democratic Party. When religion, personal rights, familial integrity and economic independence are suitably whittled to a useless nub, the Democratic Party will attempt to stand as the saviors of the unwashed. The population should be properly beholding to the Party as their intellectual superiors. As movie characters go, they think of themselves as Xerxes from “300.”

Republicans are pitiful.

Politically clumsy and ideologically disorganized, the Party has yet to catch on to the lessons learned long ago and faithfully practiced by the Democrats - Congress is where true power lies, not the White House.

They have enough sense to evoke the name of Ronald Reagan, but not the cojones to emulate him.

They’re the Greg Marmalard on campus. Not because they’re preppy or privileged or any of the frat-boy imagery others have tried to assign them, but Republicans are Marmalard because they think they’re smarter than they really are. And, they usually dress nicer than Democrats.

The Spy is also an often disappointed, but forever proud South Carolina Gamecock.