Hey Sandlappers!  We’ve got some GREAT news!!

Your state has been the laughing stock of the nation for decades.  It’s going to Hell in a peach basket.

Why?  Because you’ve got a lousy school system, astronomical unemployment, an antiquated, racist-based constitution, an elitist legislature and hard-to-remove stains in your reputation.

Everyone knows that South Carolinians LOVE tradition, so we’re gonna help you maintain your heritage of under achievement.

Do you want to keep the same crappy school system? It can be yours for the low price of an uninformed vote.

We all love our unemployment, so here’s how to keep it high and even go higher! DON’T COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR TAXES!  Just keep your mouth shut and your ignorance rampant and watch your tax dollars grow like a Chia Pet.  Business capital and incentive will shrink, causing companies to cut payrolls.  Unemployment skyrockets. IT’S THAT SIMPLE!

Do you want to maintain a government that spends, Spends, SPENDS!!? All you have to do is keep voting for the very people that put us in the current mess and it’s YOURS!

How about a legislature that’s nothing more than a network of cronies who don’t give a flying damn about you and yours? Have I got a deal for you! Next year, if you vote for the same bunch of spend, Spend, SPEND legislators, you’ll also get AN ELITE BUNCH OF BUTT HEADS – FREE!

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL!

Don’t act now (or in next year’s elections) and we guarantee that your children will be saddled with unprecedented public debt, a poor education, no jobs and a government that considers you nothing more than lazy, ignorant fools.

Good government?  Feh.  Who needs it?  Certainly not South Carolina!  We haven’t had it for decades, why start now?